Instead of talking about how much I LOVE being a mother to Sophie and Cameron....and instead of talking about how special my family made this weekend...and instead of talking about how amazing it was to spend this weekend with my whole family in Boise.... I'm going to focus on my failures as a mother.
Exhibit A: I have failed as a mommy to prove two important things to my daughter: my monogamous love for Doug and my loyalty to Sophie. Sophie shared with me that she always wants to live with me and "keep me company." She said "we will all live in this house together with my husband." Then she got serious and asked me "But how will we know whose husband is mine and whose is yours? What if you take mine?" I may have a sassy side, but I'm not that trashy, Sophie...
Exhibit B: I have failed as a mommy to instill respect for family heirlooms. Cam drove a metal car all over the piano bench in about 30 seconds and created a permanent and deeply-engraved road for future joyrides.
Exhibit C: I have failed as a mommy to teach moderation. On a recent field trip to the neighborhood farm, Sophie's preschool teacher asked the children to look for interesting things. Sophie found some seed pods that were crackly and intriguing. Instead of gathering 1-2 and continuing her exploration, Sophie became intent (or obsessed) with grabbing all of the seed pods in the entire creek area. When I picked her up from school that day, her hands, her pockets, and her teacher's pockets were overflowing with these "interesting things."
Exhibit D: I have failed as a mommy to teach the important commandment: Thou Shalt Not Steal. My children were "playing" together when Cameron started crying. After asking Sophie what happened, she explained that "I'm now playing a game with Cameron. It's called 'Steal the books from him' and I'm his Master. He's crying because he doesn't understand the rules."
Exhibit E: I've failed as a mommy to control a child who is 32 years younger than I am. Cameron and I take a baby class at a local Little Gym. Cameron is his own, independent boy who wants to explore, climb, and chase fear wherever he goes. Sit in a circle and sing a name game? NO. Run in place and make animal sounds? NO. Practice summersaults? NO. Cameron doesn't follow the rules, doesn't obey personal space, and doesn't resist the temptation of all the mats and climbing equipment on the far side of the room. I spend my 45 minutes corralling him, trying to rationalize with him, and apologizing to the sweet little babies who just had the ball ripped out of their hands. The best/worst part is that he does all of this mischief with the biggest smile on his face.
This has been a major year that has involved leaving my job to stay home as a mommy, having a 2nd child, and moving to a new city! I'm thankful to my husband for making me a mother (haha), for my two beautiful children, for my own mom who modeled the grace, wisdom, and patience required to be a mother, and to the rest of our extended family for the joy and support they bring to our lives.
HEART OVERLOAD.
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